The Glass Door
by VeilsofSleep
Summary: Soldiers, Turks, warriors of all sorts out matched by one terrible foe: A glass door of unparalleled evil. Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This was just something based off a personel experience of mine, enjoy! Please R and R

Disclaimed: I own nothing!

**Zack and The Glass Door**

There was one building in Midgar that was supposedly the most splendid and the most refined, Shinra head quarters. With its opulent marble lobby and grand stair case swathed in magnificent carpets, it was held in high esteem by booth interior decorators and tourists alike. There one problem in the building, a problem that only became apparent in the presence of a particular catalyst: Soldier second class Zack Fair. This is an account of his first encounter with the ingenious glass door.

A loud beeping ripped Zack away from his very comfortable sleep, and threw him into the harsh reality of morning. Along with a large majority of the world, Zack did not enjoy mornings and many out there will understand why he threw his alarm clock at the wall on this particular Monday and then turned around.

"Zack, get up!" A voice called threw his door, followed by sounds of fists banging against the metal of the door, "Zack!" With a groan, Zack turned to face the door and glared at it, like a cat glaring at that irritating mouse that was taunting the poor beast.

"What?!" Zack finally yelled as the banging became more insistent.

"We have inspection in forty five minutes and Angeal said he'd made to assist in Hojo's lab if you were late again!" the voice of his comrade, Kunsel shouted back at him insistently. With the threat of Hojo over his head, Zack yanked himself out of bed and pulled open the door, to face an all to perky Kunsel.

"Morning Zack," he greeted giving Zack a smile. Ugh. Morning people.

"I hate you." With that greeting, Zack shuffled into the bathroom and dressed as fast his lethargic body would allow, and then gratefully chugged the coffee Kunsel had brought him. Feeling slightly more alert, Zack now stopped glaring and followed Kunsel down to the main hall for a quick breakfast and then inspection. By the time he had his third cup of coffee, Zack was feeling back to his regular non violent self. Coffee also has another unfortunate side effect, and so, five minutes before inspection was supposed to take place, Zack heard the call of nature, and not just a small echo, but a full fledged scream.

"Do you think I can make it to bathroom and back?"

"You've got four minutes," Kunsel replied. With a quick nod, Zack bolted out of the hall and threw the glass door without incident as it was propped open. As he sprinted down the hallway, he actually passed Angeal, who didn't even have time to reprimand his spiky haired apprentice.

"Three and a half minutes Zack!" he yelled instead to his disappearing young puppy. With the clock ticking, Zack was out of the bathroom in three minutes. With less than sixty seconds to spare, Zack started running; according to a poor secretary who was run over, there was a blur of black hair that sprinted down the hallway. His target was in sight, and he had twenty seconds to spare and witnesses swear what happened next was the flat out most ridiculous thing anyone had ever conceived.

"Zack the door!" Kunsel's warning went unheard, as the soldier second class ran face first into the bullet proof glass and bounced into the opposing wall and finally flopped dejectedly onto the floor. Silence filled the hallway, and was followed by the distinct sound of laughter.

"You alive?" Kunsel asked in between loud cackles. A groan was Zack's answer.

"Clotheslined by a door?" Sephiroth was floating by serenely with Genesis, and looked at the puppy with amusement.

"Pity," Genesis replied, looking ready to join the laughter around him, "Angeal, perhaps your apprentice requires some assistance."

"No, but Hojo does," Angeal replied. For the benefit of his puppy, he didn't laugh, and settled for a more then amused glance. A second groan was emitted from the lump on he floor.

In the Lab:

"Ah little Zachary!" Hojo smirked, clearly word of Zack's encounter with the door spread fast, the entire lab was eyeing him with amusement.

"What d'you want me to do?" Zack asked dejectedly.

"Filing," Hojo indicated to the stack of papers next to him. with a sigh, Zack started. Grumbling under his breath, he yanked open the first file drawer. He was a soldier, part of an elite class of warriors, sworn to do battle against the strongest of foes, and in the toughest of situations...and he was _filing._ With a loud growl, he slammed the first file shut and started on the second. Somehow, a glass door had out smarted him. A glass door of pure evil no doubt.

"That stupid door," he cursed with every fibre of his mako enhanced being, and in his oh so diabolical mind cogs started to turn. That door shall pay.

End

Author's note: So let me know if this is any good :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Well here's another one :) please RandR. Thanks to everyone for reviewing and to anyone who read it! By the way if anyone has any requests let me know and I'll try to write them. thanks.**

**P.S. Really sorry about any grammer or spelling mistakes**

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**Reno Meet the Glass door. Glass Door enjoy tormenting Reno.**

Cissnei felt a disturbance in the tranquility of Midgar the minute she stepped out of the Shinra building and took two steps into the crowded square before her; her ninja Turk skills tingling, like she was being watched, no, hunted, by some unseen predator. Then her mind rang back to the meeting they'd just had, and to a certain missing spiky, red haired Turk and her intuition buzzed. Without a second thought she speed dialled her irritating colleague.

"Reno, what are you doing?" she asked with an eye brow raised, her eye's still scanning the square.

"Hi Cissnei," his voice seemed guarded and cautious, and ever so slightly mischievous.

"Don't do whatever you're about to-" Her own loud scream cut off her warning, as Cissnei was pelted by a vile rubber implement of torture: the feared water balloon. The first one hit her hard in the face, and immediately ruined her hair and clothes. Rubbing ice cold water out of her eyes, Cissnei spotted her tormentor and was forced to retreat back into the Shinra building before another balloon could hit her.

"Cissnei what-" she ignored Zack's half spoken question and bolted down the hallway. Even the Shinra building wasn't safe ground when Reno was feeling bored, and so she ran down the marble of the main lobby, dragging Zack with her.

"Reno," was her only word of explanation, one which the soldier understood well, and he indicated that she should head down to the training area, while he tried to dispatch Reno. With a swift nod, she made a sharp left and hurried past the confused looking employees to hide.

"Hey Reno, whatchya doing?" Zack asked casually, praying that he wouldn't be the next target of Reno's wrath. A balloon to Zack's face cleared Reno's path, and left Zack cursing, as his spiky hair hung lankly around his head.

Meanwhile:

Cissnei had run past the infamous glass door and into the mess hall where soldiers were gathered for lunch, hoping for some miracle to save her.

"Ah lady Cissnei, how may we be of assistance?" Angeal asked chivalrously, noting the younger woman's distress.

"It's Reno, remind to the wring the man's neck, along with his supplier," Cissnei replied, looking desperately for a hiding spot.

"Water balloons?" Sephiroth asked familiar with the Turk and various antics, "again?"

"By the goddess, Reno with a water balloon is more lethal than an army of Wutai troops armed with behemoths for protection," Genesis scrunched his nose distastefully at the thought of the Turk, the soldier first class had been on the receiving end of one of Reno's previous boredom induced water balloon rampages before.

"Help!" Cissnei looked at them pleadingly; judging by the yells coming from outside, Reno would be here in seconds. The three soldiers looked at each other, they were willing to fight beasts and Wutai's best soldiers, but Reno with water balloons, now there was a for worth fear. With a small, somewhat resigned sigh, Sephiroth stood up, feeling that as Midgar's hero, he should help the poor damsel.

"Your a braver man then us all Sephiroth," Angeal commented.

"I know," Sephiroth replied dryly.

"And oh so modest," Genesis muttered sarcastically, and was lucky that the leonine white haired man didnt care at the moment. Standing beside the glass door, Sephiroth placed his foot over the edge, with just enough force to wedge it shut. As the yells from outside got louder, the mess hall grew quiet, waiting eagerly for their entertainment.

"I've got you!" The Turk yelled running at the door as fast as his legs could carry him, unaware that Sephiroth was holding it shut. The sound emitted by the collision was loud and booming and somewhat painful on Reno's part, but louder still was the uproarious laughter of the various soldiers in the mess hall, who peered out of the door at the soaking Turk. As expected the balloons created a buffer of sorts, so Reno did not bounce as Zack had, but instead sat in a ruined heep on the floor. Not known for his brilliance, Reno had been carrying all the water balloons in his arms, ensuring that in a collision, every one would pop on impact. It took his dazed mind a few seconds to clear, as two Sephiroths blended back into one.

"Aw, did poor Reno hurt himself?" Cissnei asked laughing herself silly. An indignant groan was all Reno could manage as he sat up in the pool of water around him, and the he noticed black fragments of thick plastic around him. It took him seconds to figure out what the shards were.

"NO!" The shriek he emitted was so shrill and so hysterical that some say it can still be heard on those quiet days, ringing down the hallway, for there on the cold floor sat the broken pieces of Reno's brand new 1500 gil, custom made, Versace sunglasses. Karma most certainly had her fun that day, along with Cissnei. And the Glass door stood without a scratch, adding insult to injury for poor Reno and his demolished sunglasses.

The Next Day:

"Hello, how may I help you Sir?" the lady at the counter had the misfortune of getting a customer such as Reno. With some consternation, Rude had joined him, only to know what the ending to this tale would be.

"I would like to return these," Reno handed her the sunglasses case that contained the shards of his broken glasses, it was a pain to see them go, but greater still was the pain of being out 1000 gil. The lady opened the case, and then changed from polite and ready to serve, to annoyed in a heartbeat.

"Sir these are all but destroyed," The lady replied bitingly, looking rather irritated.

"Hence the need to return them," Reno replied smartly, looking at her as though she were the world's stupidest woman, and received a hard glare in return, their staring contest lasted a full minute before Reno cracked, "It was that damn glass door!" His wail expressed his deep pain, and caused the people around him some as well. Gently patting him on the back, Rude led him out of the store. The accursed Door had claimed yet another victim. Though Rude wasn't sure if the victim were the sun glasses or the owner.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Sorry about the lack of updates lately, but here's the next chapter! Please Review I really appreciate it! Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy**

**The Battle of the Glass Door vs. Materia**

It was the sort of cloudy, rainy day where boredom was the first guest to arrive and the last to leave. Through the gloom, Midgar's various inhabitants tried their level best to keep busy and entertained. It was a slow day by all accounts, even in Shinra. There were no wars to fight, no covert opps to run and no training simulations for anyone, except the one and only Sephiroth, who was given an assignment in Costa Del Sol at the last second. Genesis grumbled at the thought of the number one hero getting a free vacation to the paradise beach, while he was stuck in rainy Midgar's gloom.

"What's the latest weather report say Kunsel?" Zack asked, with his chin resting on his elbow, his eyes aflame with restlessness.

"Rain, rain, and lookie here Zacky, more freaking rain!" Kunsel yelled back, clicking the TV off. It had been playing the weather channel's sullen news for nearly an hour now.

"Stop being so rude!" Zack yelled standing up, his fists ready for yet another scuffle.

"Boys, calm down now." Angeal's motherly tones could be heard from behind the newspaper that he had stuck his nose in nearly forty five minutes ago. Genesis had watched this scene play over nearly four times in the last hour and found his mind wandering to the pleasant silence that would accompany him if bashed his head against the wall.

"The Goddess hates me doesn't she?" he mused to himself miserably staring out the window of the crowded mess hall. Some soldiers had even resorted to playing chess, a sign that Genesis felt was worthy of apocalypse.

"You've been getting in my face all day Kunsel!" Zack yelled, proving once again that cabin fever was a force stronger than them all. The two best friends seemed ready to commit murder.

" 'All that awaits you is a sombre morrow' " Genesis quoted his favorite play with a fire burning in his eyes, "if you do not kindly shut your irritating little mouths in the next three seconds!" That threat seemed to do the trick, as both novice soldiers sat down in their chairs and shot furtive looks at Genesis and at each other.

"Genesis, don't sink to their level," Angeal warned smartly, a small grin on his face. Before Genesis could retort, sharp alarms set off in the building, along with blaring red lights, all hinting that perhaps something was amiss.

"Looks like we have something to do now," Angeal stood up, almost sadly, leaving his rumpled newspaper on the table. Only he had the patience to enjoy rainy days.

"Thank the Goddess," Genesis replied also standing up and called to a few panic stricken medics that had run in, "what happened?"

"Something escaped out of the labs!" a frightened man near tears cried. Only Hojo could cause havoc like this.

"Excellent, target practice," Genesis grinned readying himself. A loud growling alerted the mess hall to some on coming enemy.

"A bandersnatch!" Reno yelled from the other end of the hall and ducked behind Rude as the beast appeared in front of the entrance hall with its great snarl, terrifying the thirds. Purely on instinct, Genesis swiftly aimed material at the beast.

"Genesis wait!" Angeal's warning went unheard as both the Bandersnatch and Genesis's attack battered against the door at the same time.

"Shit," was all Genesis could utter as his blazing attack came flying back at him, repelled by the door faster than Sephiroth could repel a fan girl.

"Hit the deck!" came Zack's voice, and everybody cleared the path, except Genesis, who landed hard on the floor as his own botched attack knocked him over like a china doll, searing his designer coat and ruining his hair.

"Bloody hell," he muttered as he faded out of consciousness.

"Well at least that Bandersnatch is taken care of," Angeal smug grin filled his vision as his eyes closed and the last thing he saw was the long Kanata of his bitter rival and best friend.

* * *

The last thing anyone wants to see when waking up is Hollander's shining face, and it was lucky for the man that Genesis didn't have his rapier in his hand when he awoke, otherwise Hollander would not have remained whole.

"Ah Genesis, your awake," he commented coolly, ignoring the dagger's that Genesis was glaring.

"So I've deduced," Genesis replied groaning as he pulled himself into sitting position, he hadn't felt so sore since he was a third and made the mistake of training with Sephiroth for the first time, "what happened?"

"Apparently you attacked a door," Sephiroth strode in with Angeal behind him, both looking very amused, "and it fought back rather well."

"That door is still standing!" Genesis sounded almost insulted.

"It's Hojo's prototype," Hollander laughed as he checked his impatient patient's vitals, "he's very satisfied with its performance."

"Its materia proof!"

"As you demonstrated," came Angeal's dry reply.

"Did I at least get the Bandersnatch?"

"No Sephiroth did," Angeal smirked as Genesis's face went from dejected to enraged within a split second. Now that damn glass door had cost him a chance at heroism and turned him into a victim instead of the knight in shining red armour. His face burned with humiliation and anger, as he glowered at an unapologetic Sephiroth.

"At least the sun is shining once again, if only for this afternoon," Sephiroth commented, hoping to cheer his colleague and distract him from his stinging defeat at the hands of the merciless door.

"Genesis won't be leaving the infirmary for a while yet," Hollander quickly burst the bubble of hope that had swelled in Genesis's chest for a briefest of seconds.

"Damn that Hojo and blasted door."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I got some requests for this one, I hope you enjoy :) I'm not sure how good it is, but let me know. I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed, your the best! Please Review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy**

**Of Turtle Shells and Chocobo heads**

As a large train rattled down the tracks, nervous recruits bit their nails to the quick as they entered Midgar's city limits. For many it, was their first trip, and the sight of the awe inspiringly massive city made some of them stop and stare out their windows. Then inevitable fingers raised and pointed at what would be their new home in a few short hours. Shinra head quarters. It was ominously large, and as their train sped onward, every man aboard felt inconspicuously small in comparison.

"Oh god, I'm crazy aren't I, Snappy?" A young, naive, chocobo headed man sat nervously on the train, feeding his small pet turtle a piece of very appetizing lettuce, "Of course I'm crazy, I'm talking to my turtle and joining Shinra!"

_Yes sir indeed you are_, the turtle seemed to say back to him with its baleful stare, _Now_ _hand me more lettuce_. Cloud tacked on the last part as Snappy had turned his head to his now lettuceless cage and was ignoring his owner for the most part.

"Hey small fry, we'll be at HQ in thirty," A burly man in uniform informed him gruffly and as he left the compartment, the man muttered, "A guppy like that won't last two days." With that vote of confidence, Cloud stared at Snappy, looking more depressed then when Snappy senior had died in a very unfortunate incident involving a copious amount of hair gel and an angry cat. As the train squeaked to a stop on the rusty tracks, all the future soldiers stepped out into the empty square.

"Oi you!" a boy hissed at Cloud, "You can't have pets in there!" Cloud suddenly remembered a passage in the Shinra manual about general rules, a passage he hadn't finished reading all the way and was now wishing that he had.

"Damn!" Cloud cursed staring at Snappy through the glass of the cage. He had about thirty seconds to come with a solution to this little speed bump and came to a snappy decision, no pun intended.

Setting the cage on a nearby table, Cloud lifted good ol' Snappy and placed him gently in the front pocket of his baggy sweat shirt, "Sorry, sorry!" he whispered apologetically to the squirming turtle that was probably cursing at him in his native reptilian tongue.

"Look sharp men!" Angeal stepped out into the darkened square and surveyed the young men before him with pride, "Welcome to Shinra!" Cloud was having trouble focussing on the First's exact words for two reasons. Firstly, Cloud was trying very hard not to emit a girlish scream at the sight of one of his heros and secondly, Snappy was being a very uncooperative turtle.

"Above all, protect your honour," with some chagrin, Cloud forced himself to the listen to the end of the speech and then the entire mass of nervous young men was led inside the majestic building.

"Tomorrow the examinations will begin," A Turk had taken over and was explaining procedure, Cloud took his chance to weave off from the group, and pulled Snappy out of his pocket once he was in, what he thought, a safe corner.

"What the hell, Snappy?" he asked his turtle furiously, "do you want to get caught?" The turtle just stared back at him, as though to tell him that the he was an idiot. Sounds of yells made Cloud look back to the main group, where he spotted a red headed maniac wielding water balloons. It seemed that Reno had chosen this moment to haze the newbies. Cloud cursed Mr. Murhpy and his law with every fibre of his being.

"Reno, I will have you assassinated!" came the lead Turk's frustrated voice, though even he wasn't spared from becoming one of Reno's targets. Poor Tseng's warnings fell on Reno's deaf ears as he new suit was destroyed. It was unfortunate that the mad man suddenly spotted his new victim.

"Chocobo head!" he cackled and without a second glance Cloud bolted with Snappy held before him, a deadly projectile just missing his head. More balloons missed as they ran through the halls causing havoc throughout the SOLDIER region, finally Cloud spotted his exit: the mess hall.

"Watch out for the-" This warning came far too late, as Cloud and Snappy crashed into the glass door shell first and were then pelted by water balloons. Laying semi consciously on the floor, Cloud felt Snappy struggling, informing him that the reptile was still alive. Even in his dazed state Cloud was expecting laughter and was surprised to find an awed silence in the room. Then he saw it, the long jagged baguette sized crack in the glass in front of him. He was so getting fired.

"Oh my god," people in the hallway regained some common sense and pulled the poor boy up. Some pointed in shock and horror at the crack, other's in joy.

"How did you-" A very shocked Kunsel was unable to form a coherent sentence as he beheld the miracle in front of him.

"I didn't," Cloud replied weakly holding up a wet, and somewhat annoyed turtle, "Snappy..."

"The door got pwned by a turtle? Dude..." Zack was looking more and more perplexed as time ticked by, finally a large cry of fury filled the room. Hojo had arrived, along with the apocalypse behind him no doubt.

"Oh good goddess," Genesis remarked with some amusement in his eyes.

"Who did this?" fury shook Hojo's crazy stature, as he literally trembled with anger. All hand's rose to point at the offending turtle, "A turtle?" Hojo raised a suspicious eye brow, "You boy? What sort of demon is this?"

"I-it's a garden turtle sir," Cloud's petrified voice came in a squeak. An angry Hojo was considered as dangerous as a bull on steroids, and now Cloud was understanding why.

"I need a repair team down here now," Hojo growled into his cell phone and returned his gaze to the turtle, his glare thirsting for vengence, and within seconds a group of white coated lab techs strode in to repair Hojo's love, thankfully averting the scientist's attention.

"Go chocobo head," Zack whispered encouragingly as Cloud was led to the infirmary for a concussion, carried on the shoulders of several very impressed SOLDIERS. Whether they were impressed with him or the turtle, Cloud couldn't say.

"Excuse me," Sephiroth spoke for the first time and was surveying the door with narrowed eyes, "This door has outwitted many of us, correct?" Cheers were filling the hallway now, as the young recruit was given a hero's farewell.

"Adeiu mi sauveur!" Zack waved wildly earning some odd looks.

"Keep going Sephiroth," Angeal replied, not quite wanting to deal with the mystery of Zack's very limitted and very crappy French knowledge.

"And then said door was outsmarted by a garden turtle?" Sephiroth confirmed thoughtfully.

"Get on with it," Genesis retorted testily, he didn't like the implication of the conclusions his colleague was hinting at, for he himself had once succumbed to the glass menace.

"I think what Sephiroth is suggesting is that Shinra's standards have gotten very low," Angeal chuckled as the near two dozen people who'd had run inn's with the door all blushed, including a frustrated Genesis.

* * *

As expected, the door was back to its normal, unshakable self by the next morning, but the memory of its defeat lingered in everyone's mind even with the crack was gone, until one fine day Karma decided it was time to have some fun.

"Why is the Chocobo so glum?" Genesis asked, noting the blonde boy's depressed stare, and slumped shoulders. Of everyone, Genesis had taken the door's defeat the harshest, and the first had taken it as a personal insult that a blonde, chocobo headed recruit wielding a turtle had beat him at something.

"Apparently Snappy is missing," Angeal informed in a low whisper, "foul play is suspected." So Hojo had gotten his revenge. How vindictive, and petty, though Genesis was reminded of how he'd once tripped Zack when the second had been on the verge of beating his record at running laps. It was then the unmistakable bang was heard of flesh against glass, informing the hall that someone had walked into the door.

"Aw, are you okay Cloud?" Cissinei asked looking genuinely concerned, while everyone burst into chuckles. Of course their saviour would be the first victim. It was the mysterious ways of the cruel door.

"Gentlemen, order has been restored," Genesis smirked callously at the bruise forming on Cloud's forehead, "The world maks sense again."

"Yes with infantrymen at the bottom, and the glass door at the top," Sephiroth retorted smartly turning back to his eggs as the commotion settled down. It was then everyone learned a valuable lesson as they watched poor Cloud slump out to get some ice for his now aching head, the glass door took any dignity it gave.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates lately, but I'm going to make up for it by cranking out another chapter before the week is over. Please RandR, much appriciated and let me if you have a request. someone Requested this but I forget who (sorry) anyway enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own**

**The white suit and the locked door**

"Damn it," cursed Rufus Shinra as he sat in his limo. It was bad enough he was being forced down to head quarters, but it was even worse that he would have to fraternize with those underlings. All he could do was pray he didn't run into Hojo. It was his father that was making him go, suggesting it would be good for the young man to see the family business that he would one day take over.

"It's not like we're some mafia crime family!" had been his son's indignant excuse, but the fact that it was his father who paid his credit card bills had motivated Rufus to humour his father, and so his made his way to Shinra head quarters.

* * *

"This is a mission of top priority and I need you three on," Tseng informed his three subordinates. Of the three, the only one he considered truly sane was Cissnei, and so she was roped into this 'job' because he knew that somehow, Reno and Rude would cause the inadvertent death of the president's son.

"Tseng, why are you doing this to me?" Cissnei looked at her boss, betrayal clear in her eyes. An afternoon with her two 'comrades' and the Shinra family's greatest ass was far to torturous to endure without losing one's sanity.

"You know you love it," Reno threw his arm over her shoulder. Resisting the urge to heave her shruikin at his head, Cissnei merely swatted his arm away, vowing to destroy him if he bothered again.

"The target is arriving at the front entrance," Tseng informed them, thus ending the conversation. Grudgingly, the Turks left to accomplish this task, or play tour guide for an hour as it were.

* * *

After showing the younger Shinra the barracks, and the Turk lounge, and even Sephiroth's penthouse suite (this was done in the utmost secrecy of course), the three Turks led him down to the one place where a calamity was a normal occurrence.

"This is the SOLDIER mess hall," Cissnei led them to where the rowdy men sat, laughing and joking over what looked to be a delicious lunch consisting of something the resembled mashed potatoes and a stew of some sort with bits of strange meat in it.

"These are Midgar's finest warriors?" Rufus looked around and spotted two shoulders trying to see how far they could launch their mashed potatoes while a third stood as a target. A few feet away from the odd trio stood another SOLDIER who looked to be carrying a stuffed Chocobo.

"Yeah, ain't it a wonder that Midgar's still standing," Reno commented, earning himself a dark glare from Cissnei.

"Why don't we go meet some of the firsts?" Rude suggested, leading Rufus to what could only be described as 'the cool kids table' for there sat Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal. Their table was far in the back of the room, right next to an awesomely large window that over looked the city.

"Ah, Rufus," Angeal greeted warmly, his voice rising a few octaves, an utterly fake smile gracing his face. Genesis choked on his potatoes at the sound of the name and swivelled around to see if it was true.

"Why do this to me?" he asked looking upwards accusingly.

"Angeal, your voice sounds ludicrously fake," Sephiroth commented dully. Clearly he was not known for his subtlety

"Sephiroth," Rufus greeted stiffly. Being the great hero of Midgar, Sephiroth merely nodded, and turned back to the book he was reading as if nothing of consequence was going on, while Rufus stood their awkwardly.

"Well then..." Cissnei was spared from elaborating by the loud blaring alarm went off.

"This is a practice fire drill; all SOLDIERs exit the mess hall," a robotic voice informed the very grim looking SOLDIER's, "Lockdown will begin in 10 seconds." Cissnei groaned loudly.

"Every man for himself!" a young recruit yelled, thus starting the stampede to exit through the single glass door. Being Mako enhanced, the thirds, seconds, and firsts made it out fine, the infantry men all sat near the entrance and made it out leaving only a few unfortunate casualties.

"3 seconds," a voice called out.

"Get out of my way!" Reno yelled shoving Zack to the ground, but before he could make it to the glass door, it swung shut and with a click was locked air tight. On the other side of the glass stood a smug looking Rude, who had pushed the former out of the way at the last second and made it through, "Rude you traitor!"

"Better than being on your side of the glass," Rude replied, turning heel and leaving his comrade to whatever fate awaited him. Turning around, Reno surveyed the other suckers that were trapped with him. Rufus was sitting the corner looking confused, Zack was looking murderous, and Cissnei looked bored.

"How long are we stuck here for?" Rufus asked finally coming to his senses.

"Hours," Cissnei groaned thinking of the level by level, room by room check that would take place in the Shinra building now. And so everyone sat down dejectedly at the table.

"Hey Zack?" Trust Reno to be the first one to speak.

"What?" Zack's venomous tone was enough to tell everyone he was still pissed.

"I bet you five gil I can get a spoonful of mashed potato to stick to the roof," Cissnei stared at Reno in wonder as he uttered this bet, thinking he had to be the only person of such idiocy alive on the planet.

"You're on," then Zack spoke, leaving Cissnei's faith in human kind all but decimated.

"They're not actually...oh my god they are," Rufus watched with horrified fascination as the two started flinging the 'I can't believe their not potatoes' at the roof. Never having witnessed such lunacy he stood up, determined to get out of there. Pulling out his small calibre gun, he aimed it at the glass door with the intention of shooting it out. He was unaware of the glass door's indestructible nature.

"Shinra don't!" As usual, the warning came too late and the bullet ricocheted against the glass, then came straight back at the offending man, who was yanked to the ground by Cissnei just in time.

"My leg!" he howled loudly clutching his ankle, which he had landed on rather awkwardly. With a laboured sigh, Cissnei examined it and tried with all her might not to jab the wounded foot as hard as possible.

"It's just a sprain Sir," she replied dully settling back in her seat, Zack and Reno hadn't even noticed the ruckus that was going.

"The devil it is," Rufus replied surveying his swelling ankle himself, "It burns worse than the stinging slap that is this day."

"You were run over by a chocobo as a child weren't you?" Cissnei asked rhetorically, though when Rufus cringed she knew her conclusions about the man were right.

"Ha ha, I did it!" Reno jumped up and started doing the chicken dance, while Zack glared like a petulant child. Now Cissnei hoped that the game was over, but she was very wrong.

"Best two out of three." With the sound of Zack's new bed, Cissnei let her head fall on the hard table with a loud bang, wishing there had been a real fire.

"Reno was the kid who was dropped as a child right?" Rufus asked watching them with morbid fascination.

"No, he was thrown."

157 Potato projectiles and three fights later:

"Where the hell is Tseng?" Rufus asked glowering worse than ever. for the last three hours he had been shot at by a door, harassed by Zack and Reno to play the game dubbed 'potato balls of fury' and now had the icky stuff in his hair do to Reno's craptastic aim, "I'm going to have you all fired!" he directed this at no one in particular, "And that glass door is going to be torn down!"

"Yeah good luck," Reno snickered.

"Hojo probably made it Shinra proof too," Zack replied casting a dark look at the shining surface that stood between them and freedom like a cruel warden.

"I'll have him fired, and then assassinated," Rufus continued venting, not noticing that Cissnei's piss-o-meter was reaching near deadly, "And then I'll have you two numb skull Turks-"

"I swear to god I will kill you with my shruikin if you keep talking," It seemed that thin line between an annoyed Cissnei and a pissed off Cissnei had been ripped asunder, "And you two stop smirking!" Now she turned her furious gaze upon the goofy clowns, "If I hear one more idiotic comment I will demolish any semblance of a life you have left!" Her voice was echoing menacingly throughout the empty hall, "Now sit down and shut up!" Meekly, the three men sat down like three ducks in a sordid row. All three had the distinct feeling they'd just been verbally bitch slapped.

Another hour went by in a frightened silence and finally Tseng arrived with director Lazard to unlock the door. Reno, Zack and Cissnei booked it out of the mess hall disappearing in the wind, while a somewhat subdued Rufus Shinra walked out.

"Are you alright Sir?" Tseng asked, looking relieved that all four of them were alive; his main concern being physical rather than mental, since sanity was a lost cause at Shinra.

"Alright?" Rufus stared at them incredulously, fury filling out his previously pale cheeks, "Alright? Those three are insane!" Now he was starting on his famous Shinra rants, the only time he ever resembled his father, "That door shot at me and those three made my life a living hell! I mean what would motivate grown men to play with mashed potatoes!" Smirking, Lazard and Tseng looked at each with amusement, they were 'potato balls of fury' legends back in their day, "Do you have an explanation?"

"Why yes," Lazard answered coolly and turned to Tseng.

"It's their job," Tseng finished, and both directors turned heel left him gaping like a fish.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: This was just something running around my head. Hope you Enjoy! Thanks to everyone who reviews :) I really appreciate it, please continue **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy**

**Last Thing Standing**

Some said the ruins of Shinra's head quarters were haunted, others said they were too dangerous to leave standing, but no one ever actually visited them, not in years. The charred remains of one of Gaia's most hated companies were not smiled upon by the goddess and over the years faced even worse desiccation from the elements. Whether ghosts of old walked amongst the ashen ruins, Cloud did not know, but memories certainly haunted the old building.

"Cloud, why are we here?" Tifa asked gently, almost fearfully, as they went exploring through the wreckage. They had merely been passing by on a delivery, when Cloud faced some strange morbid temptation to wander down memory lane and straight past the yellow danger sign.

"I don't know," Cloud replied with a weary sigh. He had just passed through what he was pretty sure was the marble lobby, and past the broken stair cases, their carpets no longer rich and beautiful, and then he made that left towards the soldier area, "I can see them here."

"Who?"

"Zack, Sephiroth, everyone I guess," Cloud replied shrugging, remembering how Zack had spent many mornings grumbling through these hall ways, or how every now and then Sephiroth would smile at the young recruits encouragingly, "before everything went bad."

That's how he liked to remember them; Zack grinning wildly, instead being killed by his own people and left for dead. Sephiroth as a hero who inspired them rather than a Gaia destroying psychopath.

"Shinra was always bad," Tifa replied looking at the ruins with scorn and Cloud couldn't find the heart to disagree. Like many people, Shinra had caused her nothing but heartache.

"But SOLDIER wasn't always bad," he replied instead, defending Shinra wasn't something he could bring even himself to do, but SOLDIER had meant something special once. In these destroyed hallways, lived the remembrance of SOLDIERs, men who fought with honour, and heroes who given everything for what they believed in.

"Cloud, it's over now, you can let go," Tifa soothed as they continued their slow journey through the twisted concrete. For her SOLDIER was just another part of Shinra and was nothing short of pure evil and she had every right to view them as such, but after all these years, Cloud realized that he couldn't.

"Shinra, SOLDIER, it sounds so serious when we talk about it," Cloud replied sombrely almost wistfully, "no one remembers the happy times." As he thought about it, Cloud realized there weren't many people left to remember the happy times.

Finally, Cloud reached the mess hall. Despite all the other damage done to the building, the carnage that ran through the halls, it still stood there, that stubborn old glass door. Dirty and grimy, it was the last thing standing, against the elements themselves. Cloud looked at it fondly, remembering the various mishaps that had taken place at the base of this door and realized that it was the last marker of a good Shinra, the last hint of happiness during those dark times.

"I'm the last one," Cloud commented, though technically he never actually made SOLDIER, he was the only one who could recount Zack and Sephiroth as heroes. He was the last of the legacy of SOLDIER. As he though about it, he realized what he had to do.

* * *

It had been a long day for one very hard working ninja; Yuffie had just arrived back in town, and wanted nothing more than to relax. With a deep breath in, she made her way to Seventh Heaven, hoping she wasn't too late for a quick drink. As she approached the bar, she immediately noticed something wrong.

"Tifa, where's the door?" Her question was answered as she walked into a very deceptive glass door face first, "Why the hell do you have a glass door?"

"Don't ask me," Tifa replied shrugging, and Yuffie entered the bar without any further problems from the door, "Cloud had it put in." At first Tifa hadn't understood why he'd rescued that door from the Shinra Ruins, and was even more baffled when he ripped out the old normal wood door and replaced it. So far Barrette had fallen victim to the door, along with poor Marlene's ears as Barrette cursed upon crossing the now dangerous threshold.

"I wonder why?" Once again, the door answered Yuffie's question, as they heard a loud crash and the distinctive sound of Reno cursing, "Ah I see, entertainment purposes." The two laughed as they watched the red head struggle outside. After fiddling with the door for a few more minutes, Reno finally stumbled in, Rude following behind him, wearing the same smile as he had when Reno broke his beautiful glasses years ago.

"What the hell Tifa?" Reno asked furiously, also settling at the bar. A large red mark on his cheek informed them that he had in fact walked into the door, and rather hard for that matter. Rude also noted with some amusement that his glasses were cracked, but at least this time Reno hadn't wasted a fortune on them.

"What do you think Reno?" Cloud arrived down stairs, and gave Reno a small rare smile.

"You bastard, I should've known," Reno replied glaring as the lens from his sunglasses popped out and Yuffie started laughing, "Why is it here?" He said 'it' as though he was referring to some crazy monster rather then a simple door.

"For old time's sake?" Rude suggested downing his first shot of the night.

"No, to keep the memory alive," Cloud replied, looking fondly at the door. The only proof that a Shinra of good people ever existed. He may have been the last one standing, but Cloud knew he wasn't alone, and that he could keep the ideals of SOLDIER alive. The Glass door had been saved, just like Cloud had been saved, ready to wreak havoc once again.

"Hey Denzel, have I ever given you the honour and dreams speech" Cloud asked, an audible groan was heard from the young man in question, who grudgingly entered the bar; he had already what was to be the first in many run ins with the door and entered the bar without a problem.

"Yeah Cloud," Denzel replied dully. It was the same speech that had been said for years now, of course Denzel had heard it. The first time it had been inspiring, the second time it had seen wise, but now it was starting to grate on his nerves.

"Well, get ready cause here it comes," Cloud put an arm over Denzel's shoulder and led him away, he was sure somewhere Zack was probably watching and laughing at how the roles had reversed. SOLDIER was alive, and always would be.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: The previous chapter was in no way the end of this story! I should've cleared this up before, really sorry. I decided to try something different with this chapter and make it a two part :) Let me know what you think. I know I say this every time, but your thank you soooooo much for your reviews! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 7**

**The Duct Tape Wars:**

**part 1: Hazing, a dangerous game**

"There are six rolls of duct tape missing," Cissnei commented dully, in a tone that could only be described as that of a woman who was bored of boredom itself. It was inventory season in the department of Investigation, known as the Epoch of Tedium by some or as Reno had dubbed it, the Whacky Crappy Week of Deadly Stationary.

"Aw damn it!" Reno cursed, dropping all the pencils he was sharpening, "How'd we get stuck doing this?" Reno felt that Tseng had been most unjust in assigning tasks this week, giving himself, Rude and Cissinei the most irritating and demeaning task of all: the organization of the stationary closet.

"Maybe it was because of that time you blew up that fountain," Rude suggested as he refilled the staplers from the entire department, handling his work with more grace then his read headed, EMR wielding counterpart.

"Or the time you accidentally lit the President's prized stuffed Chocobo statue on FIRE," Cissnei suggested testily, recounting the disaster that had been their weekend protecting the senior Shinra. it had been an unfortunate misunderstanding in the dark; Reno had thought the statue was a Wutai assasin and attempted to defeat him, resulting in a small fire and a week's suspension.

"Everything's always my fault isn't it?" Reno retorted brandishing a pencil in her face, his own annoyance growing as well.

"Yes!" his comrades shouted back at him, and sounds of a scuffle could be heard on the Turk floor as Reno heaved a stapler at Cissnei, who in retaliation threw her shurikin at Reno.

"I want everything to be catalogued and accounted for!" Tseng's voice barked from his office, and sounds of fighting abruptly stopped and three loud groans could be heard, "and find out what happened to that duct tape!"

Little did they know that three floors down, in the SOLDIER area, sat two mischievous SOLDIERs, revelling at their latest heist of six rolls of silver tape.

"This will do nicely," Zack grinned surveying their treasure. They had great plans for this silver tape.

"Who shall we demolish?" Kunsel asked, and Zack's oh so devious mind went straight to a certain spiky blonde and a certain glass door that needed decorating.

* * *

It was that night the young SOLDIER's decided to carry out their plan, and once all activity ceased in the Shinra building, Zack and Kunsel snuck out of their respective rooms and crept down to the infantry barracks.

"What if the Turk's notice we stole their tape?" Kunsel asked worriedly, "Remember what happened to John?" Eliciting the wrath of the Turks was equal to poking an angry Hojo; it would mean waking up upside down from the top of the Shinra building or possible missing limbs.

"John had it coming," Zack brushed him off, that idiot had dared to hit on Cissinei, something that was just not done by sensible men. They were simply stealing a few rolls of industrial strength tape. Having made it to the barracks, the two started to search for those golden locks amongst the other heads. After a few minutes of searching, they found their target.

"Sorry about this Cloud," Zack whispered in the dark with his signature smirk. After placing a strip of tape across his face, they quickly strung his hands and feet together. When they lifted him, Cloud finally showed signs of life and in alarm started to struggle. The thump of a body hitting the floor could be heard, and Cloud groaned loudly in pain.

"My bad," Zack called out in the dark and grabbed the poor cadet's arms again, this time more firmly and they continued their journey towards the mess hall. Despite looking like a ruffled chocobo, Cloud managed to glare quite menacing at the duo, reminicent of a...ruffled chocobo.

"Dude, his eyes glow in the dark," Kunself commented as he held the boy up against the glass, while Zack got out another roll of tape.

"Don't stare directly at them!" Zack warned, securing Cloud's arms and legs and then starting on his torso, the tape clinging tightly to the glass underneath "I'll tell you one thing, Tseng knows his office supplies."

* * *

Friday mornings were always slow in Shinra. It was a day not of dangerous missions, but usually of paperwork. So without any crisis hanging over his head, Genesis took his time getting dressed that morning and slowly lumbered into the mess hall.

"Holy Ifrit," he mouth dropped open at the sight before him, and it took Genesis all of two seconds to understand what happened, "Zackary Fair, it seems the puppy has become a dog." Ignoring the pleading look in Cloud's wide eyes, a chuckling Genesis headed into the mess hall and grabbed himself some breakfast.

"Did I just witness Strife tapped to the glass door?" Sephiroth had arrived, and was looking inquisitively at the entrance to the mess hall, unfazed by what he saw there. People were walking up to the door, laughing, and then walking past the poor boy that hung there.

"Yes you are," Genesis snickered in his cereal, "Angeal is going to throw quite the hissy fit."

"I look forward to it," Sephiroth gave a rare grin, and took his seat to the upcoming show.

At long last, Angeal made it to breakfast, already annoyed by the god forsaken hour at which alarm clock had woken him at. An alarm clock that now lay in pieces at the foot of his bed. Needless to say, he was not a happy camper, but the utter shock at the sight of the usually spotless glass door crossed him into the realm of fury.

"Oh for the love of holy!" grumbling he too entered the mess hall, looking for blood, "Zack, Kunsel!" The two stood up looking one part guilty and a million parts amused, while Angeal seethed, "How is it that you two fail inspection every week but can somehow steal duct tape from the Turks and then use said tape to tie a man to the door?" The boys were saved from answering by the sound of an indignant young Turk arriving at the scene.

"Thieves!" Cissnei yelled, pointing accusingly at the only two members of SOLDIER that would ever dare to tangle with the Turks. Unfortunately, her colleagues was far too busy admiring Zack's handiwork to be outraged.

"No freaking way!" Reno started laughing uproariously and prodded the struggling Cloud.

"Genius," Rude grinned and started applauding. Cheekily, Zack and Kunsel bowed, while Angeal fumed. It was then Angeal came to an epiphany that explained everything; they were all insane. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the poor first made his way to his friends in the back.

"Rough morning?" Genesis asked, still chortling.

"Oh holy, send down an extraction team to rip Strife off the door," Angeal groaned and slumped into his usual seat, "and get me a cup of coffee."

Four hours later, an embarrassed custodian prodded Angeal in the shoulder.

"Sir, it seems the tape and the glass had formed some sort of...adhesive," the man's words caused Angeal to groan. The only explanation he could come up with was that the glass had some strange demon possessing it, but he didn't bother suggesting this option; too many people in this building would take it seriously.

Two hours and fifteen bottles of nail polish remover later:

With a soft thunk, the young cadet finally dropped to the floor on unsteady feet, dizzy from both the fumes and the lack of blood flow.

"Strife?" Cissnei asked, looking sympathetic. The Turks had arrived once again. Retribution was needed for the lost duct tape, and they needed a man already inside the belly of the beast.

"What?"

"How would you like to get some revenge," Rude asked, wearing a small smile on his face.

"What kind of revenge?" Interest entered Cloud's bright eyes.

"The kick ass kind," Reno replied, grinning wider then rude.

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Firsty, sorry for not updating sooner, I had a final that I was studying for but now I'm done :) Secondly, the duct tape wars currently has no inspiration to chug it along, so I'll try finish that up next week. For now enjoy this little tidbit. It's set in Edge in Seventh Heaven. Please review! Let me know if it's good and if I should do more set in Edge. Enjoy:**

**Disclaimer: Alas I do not own Final Fantasy, if only...**

**The Plan and the Glass Door:**

It was a loud curse and the sharp bang of flesh hitting glass that rousted Cloud from his comfortable sleep. Undoubtedly, another poor soul had just met the shiny new door that stood in their front entrance now. Chuckling to himself, Cloud decided to go investigate and find out who the latest victim was. It was nearly nine in the morning, meaning the bar would be opening soon. When he arrived downstairs, all he could see was a fuming Tifa cursing as she wiped down the counters.

"Tifa?" he questioned, sticking his head into the bar with some hesitation, worried it was going to be ripped off by an angry barmaid. The angry look she was giving the door suggested she had been its latest casualty.

"That damn door is stuck," Tifa replied sourly, glaring at the offending door, "It won't open," Now her gaze landed on the man who had brought said door into the bar, "Fix. It." That tone was enough to jolt Cloud into action. Grabbing a tool box out of his office, he started work on the door.

The reflection of Tifa in the door caught his eyes as he worked. Clearly still pissed off, Tifa was now setting the tables with menus and the customary bottles of ketchup and what not. She had never looked as attractive to Cloud as she did in that moment, with her slightly ruffled hair and her apron askew. All of those missed chances echoed in chest in that moment. It felt like eons had passed since he'd loved her. From the first day of kindergarden to the destruction of Nibelheim to now.

Perhaps being virtually trapped in the bar wasn't a bad thing.

Cloud knew this glass door had been a good idea.

_On the Other Side of the Glass:_

"Are you sure this is a good idea Yuffie?" a somewhat stoic, albeit concerned Vincent Valentine asked from their hiding spot by the side window. It had been Yuffie's idea to try set up her two friends. After watching them stare longingly at each other for years, Yuffie felt it was about time Cloud 'grew a set.' Vincent, who had no idea what this meant, had unfortunately asked Reno for an answer, "I don't think Cloud will take kindly to having his manhood insulted."

"It'll work," Yuffie grinned, watching the scene unfold inside, raising her head slightly to look into the bar, "Besides, that door needs to start working for good instead of evil." It had been she who had casually broken the door last night before she left.

"Why are we skulking in the bushes?" Two long shadows cast themselves over the crouching figures of Yuffie and Vincent. One with a bald head, and the other with a spiky head.

"Get down!" Yuffie hissed and pulled the two Turks to ground level.

"Watch the claws woman!" Reno complained, rubbing his arm where she'd grabbed him, "Hey Vinny, did my explanation help yesterday?" Trying not to kick Reno in his own 'set', Vincent merely glared, suggesting he had been somewhat scarred by Reno's explanation of things.

"Why are we sneaking?" Rude asked, changing the subject for his partner's safety. An angry Vincent was not known to be a merciful one.

"Setting up Cloud and Tifa," Yuffie replied.

"Good luck with that," Reno replied with a smile.

"It'll be entertaining at least," Rude added, getting comfy for the show.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Barrett asked, and was shoved into the dirt by two Turks. Before he could shoot them, Barrett was hushed by a slightly annoyed Yuffie, who was peering over the window frame to get a better look inside.

"We have company," Vincent pointed out more people that were approaching the bar and gazing questioningly their way. Cid and Tseng did not look amused as they spotted everyone crouching there. It only meant trouble when Reno and Vincent were in such close proximity.

Inside the bar:

"So...the weather's been good lately..." was Cloud's pathetic attempt at starting a conversation.

"Yes it has," Tifa replied dryly, resisting the urge to throw the bottle of hot sauce in her hands at him. This was the same man who had survived gunshot wounds, killed Sephiroth twice, and demolished Bahamut SIN, and he was talking about weather. _No wonder I've been single for years, _Cloud thought to himself miserably.

Outside the bar:

_The weather's been good lately. _Their audience of about ten, all face palmed at hearing this. The idiot was digging a hole that would surely become his grave. Even Reno knew that the weather was the kiss of death to any conversation that could other wise end in getting laid.

"The weather?" Vincent raised an eyebrow. Despite sleeping in a coffin decades and having a psychopathic demon inside him, he had better flirting skills than that.

"We're going to be out here for a while aren't we?" Tseng asked dully. He was cursing his horrible timing with fury. Why oh why had he come today of all days?

"Shut up, I can't hear!" came Yuffie's harsh chastisement.

"Now look here little lady-" Cid abruptly stopped talking when he saw the distinct glint of a Shurikin and a look of death on Yuffie's face. Slowly, he backed up a few paces.

Inside the bar:

Mentally, Cloud was cursing, using every word he'd learned from Barrett and Cid; the weather, why the hell did he say weather? He needed to find a way to bounce back; there must be something he could say to make this better. Declaring his undying love didn't seem quite appropriate, so instead he went for-

"You look really nice today."

"Thanks Cloud," A smile now graced Tifa's face; he definitely gained some brownie points with that one. Cloud's former cursing turned into cheering. The glass door now forgotten, as Cloud and Tifa each tried to plot their next move, "What are your plans for today?"

"I have a few deliveries," Cloud replied, taking a seat at the bar, while Tifa worked behind the counter, "you?"

"I'll be here," Tifa shrugged, and looked at Cloud suggestively.

Outside:

"Stop him!" Yuffie had ordered as a young man approached the bar with the intent to enter. With the speed and skill of a panther, Reno pounced on the young man and threw him into the dirt, while the other's watched with mild amusement.

"Um...when does the a bar open?" a second customer had arrived, and had the good sense to ask the crowd that now sat in the bushes before attempting to enter.

"Run far, and run fast my friend," Tseng suggested indicating to the slightly shell shocked man that sat in the bushes with them now, with Reno standing over him wielding his EMR rod like a cowboy. Gaia knew what destruction would happen here. Slightly alarmed, the man heeded Tseng's advice and quickly hurried down the street.

Inside:

_Do it! Do it now! _Cloud's mind was yelling at him to seize the moment before him. After but a moment's hesitation, Cloud made his way to the other side of the counter, and pretended to be simply grabbing a beer.

"What are you doing?" he looked over her shoulder, his face side by side with hers. Both of them were stingingly aware of what little distance was left between them.

"Just going through some of last night's bills," Tifa replied, trying to read the words on the page before her but failing to do so, "Cloud-" She turned to face him, but before she could finish her sentence, Cloud's self control snapped and finally after years of wanting to, Cloud kissed her.

Outside:

"Holy. Effing. Ifrit." Yuffie enunciated every word as she peered into the bar, "it's happened." All arguments ceased, Reno stopped prodding Vincent, and Barrett stopped cursing, even the birds stopped chirping for a second and they all whooped in triumph, with the exception of Vincent and Tseng, who resisted the urge to roll their eyes as Reno did his victory dance.

Inside:

"About time," Tifa whispered gently once he pulled back. He had one hand on her cheek and another on her waist. Ever so gently, she rubbed the back of his hand.

The sounds of cheers, cat calls and whistles ended the moment, and the couple went to go investigate. There outside the window, sat Yuffie, Vincent, Tseng, Reno, Rude, Cid, Barrett and a man who neither of them had ever seen before. It took them all of two seconds to figure out who had rigged the glass door.

"It seems your plan worked," Vincent commented slyly, "Cloud did indeed grow a set." Shrinking back from the glares she was receiving, Yuffie hid in Vincent's long cloak.

"Now how about a round of drinks in celebration?" Reno suggested grinning. Cloud and Tifa looked at each other. A clap of thunder sounded outside, and Rude felt a few rain drops of his head. Identical evil grins graced Cloud's and Tifa's face.

"Hey Tifa, we still have a few hours before the kids home right?" Cloud asked, mischief in his eyes.

"Yup," Tifa replied wearing a vicious grin on her face as the rain drops became more insistent. Together, they shut the curtains, and walked away as an ominous bolt of lightning sparked in the sky.

"We'll break down the door!" Cid threatened and heard laughter from the inside, while the Turks all groaned.

"Good luck with that," Cloud called back chortling at the idea. Getting through their new front gate would take more fire power then Cid's Shera was capable of.

"Is your cape water proof?" Reno asked Vincent hopefully.

"Touch it and die, cretin."

"Oh come on-" Reno stopped mid sentence as Death Penalty was flashed in front of his face. Ever so slowly, Reno retreated behind Rude.

Now audible groans could be heard as rain started to pitter patter more heavily against Edge, while Cloud and Tifa laughed together. The key word here being together, as they would stay from now on.

* * *

Let me know if you enjoyed!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: so guys...it's been like two years...Apologies are in order. Muse ran dry and I needed to take a hiatus, but I was struck by an idea last night, so here it is. It's short, but hopefully somewhat humorous. Lemme know.**

**Thanks to Mina111 who sort brought my attention back to this fic.  
**

Scarlet, Hangovers and Glass Doors. Oh My!

Despite knowing he was regret it later, Genesis gulped down that last shot of vodka like a boss. Tonight was their drinking night that took place once a month as stipulated by Angeal years ago after he found that being SOLDIERs often meant not seeing each for lengthy periods of time. It was a good way to make sure they never drifted to far apart. Most of the time, Genesis approved of this idea. It was a marvelous excuse for him to get shit faced and quote Loveless at passersby without feeling embarrassment. Usually, he drank the most with Angeal coming in second and Sephiroth ensured both his friends arrived home safely and kept his drinking to a minimum. Tonight, a night which Genesis would always remember with a shudder from then onwards would forever be known as the beginning of the most entertaining scandal in ShinRa.

"I think you've had quite enough Genesis," Sephiroth commented noting his friend's now ungainly stance. Regardless of how much vodka he consumed, Genesis didn't look any worse for the wear, but his inhibitions were certainly lowered.

"Hardly," the first stumbled forward slightly and regained his balance, "I'm gloriously fine."

"Angeal?" the General turned to the other first hoping for some sort of sanity.

"Another whiskey barkeep!"

No, no sanity there.

_Oh no_. Sephiroth sighed as the 'time to pick up another one night stand' look appeared on Genesis's face. It was a predatory sort gaze that swept the bar. Before he could be stopped, the auburn headed man strode away from the bar and towards a group of women. It was one thing to ensure his friend's safe return home, but as Sephiroth understood it, 'cock blocking' was unacceptable, so he sat back and watched the unfolding train wreck that was starting to emerge. Luckily the gaggle of women he approached were also quite tipsy, so they didn't cry harassment as Genesis spoke with them. Usually, he would scope out the bar for any known member of the Red Leathers, unfortunately he was not in any normal capacity and only comprehended the world 'Red' today.

"Is that who I think it is?" Sephiroth turned to Angeal and forced the SOLDIER to face what was happening not too far away from them. Sputtering into his drink, Angeal required a good few thumps on the back before he was able answer.

"He's going to get _massacred_."

"Shouldn't we prevent this?"

"Hell, I don't want to get massacred too!" Angeal finished off his drink, "He's gotta learn some time."

Sephiroth shrugged and turned back to his scotch. Usually in these situations, it was best to follow Angeal's lead.

* * *

Swallowing back the acrid taste in his mouth, Genesis opened his eyes and hissed against the light that seemed to sear the inside of his brain. After a few minutes, when he was sure he wouldn't be blinded, the first opened his eyes and licked his dry lips. An aching head and body and the slightest scent of Vodka told him that his level of alcohol consumption was beyond unacceptable last night. It was only as he sat up that Genesis realized he was not in his own apartment. The tacky lace embroidered blanket, gaudy animal figurines and god awful black walls were not of his home and the he could hear the faint sound of the shower running. Feeling a few snippets coming back to him from last night, Genesis prayed deeply that what he thought happened didn't.

"Oh _damn_." Slipping out of bed, he ignored the red dress and undergarments on the floor. Stooping he shoved his boots on his feet and tossed his red leather jacket over his shoulder. The shower stopped and he hurried his movement and yanked on his pants.

"I'm going to make coffee, do you want any?" a stern voice asked from inside the bathroom and Genesis's face paled considerably at that voice. He now had confirmation of what happened last night and quickly bolted for the door, quietly snapping it shut and running down the hall, "Genesis?"

By the time he reached ShinRa and the mess hall he was huffing. His head was worse and he was panting heavily. No one in the hall noted his late entrance, far to entranced in their own pitiful lives, but it was hard to imagine that his friends wouldn't question him about his disappearance last night. When he arrived at their table, the two were smirking at his dishevelled state. _They already knew._ Chagrined, Genesis sat down and waited for it to begin. Judging by the coffee in his hand and the two empty cups next to him, Angeal was feeling better.

"Puppy bring me coffee," Genesis ordered briskly and looking disappointed Zack trudged away.

"I say we make an amendment to our standing order for monthly drinking night."

The grins grew bigger.

"What sort of amendment?" Sephiroth asked, looking far too amused and condescending.

"Perhaps a limit on alcohol consumption or a time limit," Genesis suggested, "to prevent future...incidences."

"Incidence is certainly putting it mildly," Angeal commented, "Did you just run out of there?"

The SOLDIER hung his head morosely and nodded, "Scarlet's going to _murder_ me."

"Most likely with untested ShinRa weapons," Sephiroth added.

"Well then, I'll prepare you're funeral," Angeal nodded back.

An alarmed looking Kunsel hurried into the mess hall and practically ran towards the SOLDIERs. The entire hall stopped and watched as his boots clapped against the ground loudly. Stopping squarely in front of Genesis he let out a long breath.

"Director Scarlet's on her way down here!"

The face of every SOLDIER and cadet widened and then the panic began.

"Why?"

"How?"

"Who brought this down upon us?" Zack asked looking appalled. Angeal and Sephiroth's pointed stares at Genesis clued him in, "_No._ _Way._" his eyes widened, "You did this?"

"More like he did her," Sephiroth corrected.

Angeal snorted into his coffee, "That was a good one Sephiroth."

"Indeed, my sense of humour is developing nicely."

"Can we _please_ return to the matter at hand?" Genesis stood up, "She is on her way _here_. Can we think of a solution?"

"What _we_?" Angeal asked, "As Sephiroth stated, _you_ did her, so you deal with her."

"_The fates are cruel_," Sephiroth quoted with a witty smirk on his face and Genesis resisted smacking him.

"General Rhapsodos!" a shrill, infuriated voice called out and strutting in on her high heels was the famous Director Scarlet. A thoroughly furious look was on her face and she resembled an angry black widow spider. Swallowing, Genesis tried to formulate a plan as she strode over and stood in front of him, "Your conduct this morning?"

_Lie. Must think if lie!_

"I uh-had to attend-"

Then Genesis spotted his life saver. Lunging forward, past Scarlet, he latched onto the fire alarm.

_All SOLDIERS please exit the mess hall, lockdown will begin in 10 seconds._

Every single man in the mess hall sprung up in less than a second and started fighting to the exit. Friend shoved friend and comrades were suddenly rivals as they all tried to escape before being locked in. Of course Angeal and Sephiroth made it out long before any other SOLDIER had the chance. In fact, Angeal had knocked a surprised Zack to the ground and then Genesis tripped over the puppy.

Predictably, he, Zack and Scarlet were left inside.

Fearing for his life, Genesis glanced at the woman and almost turned to stone at the sight of her glare.

"I will ask again for an explanation."

_I hope Angeal remembers the ten cannon send off at my funeral._

"This sucks. Stupid Angeal." Zack pouted and sat down in one of the many vacant chairs. He picked at the half eaten pancakes in front of him and ate a small bite. The little puppy had given Genesis a most marvelous idea. Something that truly highlighted his genius.

"The truth is, Scarlet, I panicked." He began dramatically, letting his inner diva take full rein now. Genesis had always maintained that he would've made an excellent actor and was proving this claim, "You see, my dear friend, Zack-" he placed a shoulder around Fair's shoulder who looked beyond confused, "Has always carried a light in his heart for you and I betrayed him by stealing that light." Chancing a glance, Genesis could tell Scarlet was eating this up like it was chocolate, "I am incredibly sorry Zack, and as repentance, I shall never talk, nay never look upon the woman of your affection _again_!"

With a dramatic flourish, Genesis bowed a little towards Zack and then backed away looking terribly grieved. Finally catching on a look of pure terror appeared on Zack's faces. Walking away from the scene, Genesis pulled out his phone. Being a First Class SOLDIER he had a certain amount of pull and could open doors which others could not.

"Kya ha ha ha, aren't you a handsome one!"

"It's been handled, let us out."

Less than five minutes later, Lazard was unlocking the door with a weary look on his face, "Must you always use the door as a way to trap your one night stands?" This was not the first time Genesis had trapped a murderous lover inside the mess hall. It was a miracle the door survived the tirade of nearly twenty five fangirls in the last three months.

"All is fair in love in war."

Looking smug Genesis walked out.

* * *

Zack was scarred for life. Angeal would've blamed Genesis if it wasn't so much fun watching him almost wet himself whenever a woman in a red dress walked by.


End file.
